- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space”.
- Grimace painfully while smacking you forehead
and muttering: “Shut up, darn it! All of you just shut UP!”
- Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a
Small World” incessantly.
- Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
- On a long ride, sway side to side at the
natural frequency of the elevator.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain
to yank the doors open, then act embarassed when they open by themselves.
- Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
“Noogie patrol coming!”
- Greet everyone on the elevator with a warm
handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- One word: Flatulence!
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and
demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft
go “plink” at the bottom.
- Do Tai Chi exercises.
- Stare, grinning at an other passenger for a
while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from
the back: “Oh, not now — motion sickness!”
- Give religious tracks to each passenger.
- Meow occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter
in your nose.
- Frown and mutter “Gotta go, gotta
go,” then sigh and say, “Oops!”
- Show the other passengers a wound and ask if
- Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while
continually pushing buttons.
- Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the
- Walk on with a cooler that says “human
head” on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while then announce,
“You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Burp and then say, “mmmm…tasty!”
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push
the button for them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other
passengers “through” it.
- Start a sing-a-long.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and
ask, “Is that your beeper?”
- Play the harmonica.
- Shadow box.
- Say, “Ding!” at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say, “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents
of your kleenex to other passengers.
- Bring a chair along.
- Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
- Blow spit bubbles.
- Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find
a more suitable host body.”
- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer
suggestively at other passengers.
- Stare at your thumb and say, “I think it’s getting larger.”
- If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler,
- When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend
it wasn’t you.
- Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and
go back for more.
- Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
- Call a bondage 900 line from a cell phone.
- Hold the doors open and say your waiting for your friend, after
awhile let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day
- Cat basket and take a nap in the corner.
- Bounce a superball around the elevator.
- Light a cigarette and tell people “Smokey the Bear doesn’t
know what the hell he’s talking about.”
- Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up,
scream “That’s mine!”
- Stand in the corner, reading a telephone book, laughing
- Bring a camera and take a picture of everyone in the elevator.
- Move your desk into the elevator and when ever someone gets on,
ask if “they have an appointment.”
- When the doors close, use duct tape and work furiously to tape
the doors together. Ask for help.
- Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
- Bring a hammer and nails and hang pictures of yourself on the
walls. Ask people, “Isn’t that a good picture of me?”
- Leave your 12 foot long python alone in the elevator.
- Turn off the lights in the elevator to “conserving
- Leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if
they hear something ticking.
- Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.
- Clean your gun.
- Ask, “Did you feel that, I felt a rumble?”
- Dressed in coveralls, get in a full elevator and when the door
closes, push the stop button, post an out of order sign inside and
go to work on the access panel, saying “This may take a
- Push the call button, when the voice answers ask,
- Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
- When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay,
don’t panic, they open up again.”
- Push your floor button with your tongue.
- Stand alone, when the doors open, tell anyone trying to get on
that the car is full and that they should wait for the next one.
- Swat at flies that don’t exist.
- Shoot rubber bands at everyone.
- When the doors open, pretend that you bounce off a force field
when you try to leave.
- Ride Naked.
- When people get on, ask for their tickets and check that they
meet the “height requirements.”
- Push the top floor button, and announce that you tried to kill
yourself yesterday, but the other building wasn’t high enough.
- Talk to people about “the golden age of elevators in the
50s.” Explain why modern elevators can’t compete with
- Borrow small items from other people in the elevator, then shout
“Weee!” as you drop them through the crack in the floor
when the elevator doors open.
- Jump Rope.
- Bring a shovel and try to dig a hole.
- When the doors close, menacingly announce that “it’s going
to be a bumpy ride.”
- Tell people that you can see their aura.
- Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.